Chasing My Tail

Over the last couple of years, I’ve found myself in a race to nowhere. The realisation only hit me when I took the time to slow down. 

It felt like I was a dog chasing its own tail. It looks fun. Even promising. But we’ll only find out when I bite it! We all know how that turns out. The strange thing is, during the chase, we can’t see the difficulty we’ll put ourselves through.

One day I was standing in line at the grocery store. The frustration around the lack of cashiers and the queue moving at a snail’s pace annoyed me. The man in front of me ranted about how useless the service was and how they’re wasting his time. A thought came to mind: why did he need the line to move faster? Where did he need to be? 

Then, I asked myself the same questions: Why was I irritated? Where did I actually need to be? The only answer I found was that I wanted to get home. But why? To scroll social media? Watch Netflix? I had no real reason to be in a hurry. 

This was me chasing my tail. And it gave me perspective. The race to do more in the hope of making more money, had spilled over into my personal life. I found myself constantly in a hurry without asking why.

Now, I am learning to enjoy the longer lines, the traffic jams, and the unexpected detours. I don’t want to reach the end of my race one day and wish I’d taken the time to admire the view.

I took this image on one of my favourite lenses a while ago.